Thursday, March 19, 2015

A Sensitive Topic

A couple nights ago I wrote a set piece on a sensitive topic of mine. Body image. It's a little bit scary that these words came from my brain to be honest. But the thing is, that means they lived there for a while and I need to evict them. 

She pulls off her shirt and stares. Examines every curve, every bulge. She hates it. She pulls at the soft parts and wishes them away. They remain. She pulls, tugs, stretches, and almost cuts, but stops herself. She cries softly, wondering if she could have somehow done better, to not let them appear. She wishes through the tears over and over, Please not again, I can't do this again. She hates herself. Her only comfort has left her, and its return is uncertain.

Okay, time to fess up. Yes, she is me. No, I have not almost cut myself. But it was a way of expressing the intensity of the thoughts and hate within my mind. My thoughts and distaste for the excess parts of me are razor sharp. I think about it often. My biggest fear is becoming overweight again. At one point, I was. Some people may not believe that, but for a time I was medically overweight. And the comfort I wrote about was running. It was one of my few comforts when I was feeling down, and I am uncertain about how well I will be able to run now. Before if I felt a little pudgier, I could run it out and I would feel better. I can't do that anymore. 

Well all of my writing is depressing, especially when it is about what goes on in my head. Oops.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Through the Tunnel

Sorry for not updating consistently, I need to get my blogging game together!
All jokes aside, here's a really old piece.

This one was from the beginning of this school year (so freshman year for me). It was written about the short story "Through the Tunnel" by Doris Lessing. We were told to write about what type of character Jerry is in the story. Here is the resulting short paper:
 The Journey
Jerry is both a round and dynamic character, demonstrated by his depth of character and development throughout the story. The descriptions that are given about his character, feelings, and appearance show that he is a round character from the beginning of the story. He is also a dynamic character, or a character that changes, develops, and gains new knowledge as a result of the conflicts that he faces. This is shown in his maturation and separation from his mother. He begins by being heavily dependent and attached to his mother. When he first leaves her he “almost ran after her again, feeling it unbearable that she should go by herself, but he did not” (147). All children know that they have to be by their parents, and they are taught this at a young age. When he thinks about turning back, it shows how he still believes that his place should be at his mother’s side, similar to the behavior of a child. By containing his compulsion to follow his mother, he is already beginning his journey to becoming an adult. Later in the story, he develops to the point where he no longer feels compelled or obligated to stay by his mother’s side. He becomes independent to the point where “He did not ask for permission, on the following day, to go to his beach. He went, before his mother could consider the complicated rights and wrongs of the matter” (151). This is a complete turnaround from Jerry’s behavior at the beginning of the story. He doesn’t even consider staying with his mother, or even asking her for permission to leave to his beach. Jerry is becoming more solitary, and he no longer feels that he needs to stay with his mother. At this point in the story, Jerry has become more of an individual, and therefore has developed and matured even further. Throughout the story, Jerry is proved to be both a round and dynamic character. His in depth feelings and the detailed descriptions given show him to be a round character. He goes through major changes in the way he thinks and behaves, which also makes him a dynamic character. He learns and gains knowledge  about the hardships of life and the obstacles that are a part of growing up. This story and Jerry’s behavior can easily be related to teens everywhere. The obstacles he faces and the journey he goes on are similar to those that teens have to face while growing up. This story can serve as a lesson to everyone who may be struggling through the hardships of adolescence. Perseverance and determination will lead to success in the journey of growing up. 

Leave me any comments or questions below!

Along the Highway

This was another quick write that we did in class. It was a pre-Of Mice and Men quick write. We were given four pictures and we were allowed to choose one and do some creative writing about it. I was struggling to think of a story to write for any of the pictures, when I looked at the one below and thought, What if they were father and son? Why would they be leaving? Why would they be walking? That was when the story began to form itself in my mind. For all of you who have seen Game of Thrones, the mother became unintentionally loosely based on Catelyn Stark's relation to Jon Snow. It happened, and I have no idea how. Anyways, back to the writing. Here it is.

Along the Highway

When I was a kid, I had a father. It’s been long enough that I can’t remember his face now. From what I can remember he was tall, slim, and was always dressed in a well fitting black suit. I had a brother too. He was shorter than my father, and not quite as slim. He wore a dusty tan cowboy hat, one that my father had given him. We didn’t really look too similar. I had loose, wavy, light brown hair that trailed all the way down my back and to the end of my dresses. His hair was a darker brown and was much straighter. I had a slimmer, long legged build rather than his lean but not quite slim build. Even though he was five years older than me, he never teased me or was mean. But enough reminiscing, let’s get back to the story.

At the time, our family lived in Oklahoma. My brother and I were both attending grade school. Our father was a businessman, and our mother was a typical housewife that also worked occasional shifts as a nurse at the nearby hospital. Back then, everything was good. All of my memories of those times are cloudless, bright, and filled with jubilant laughter. But soon that all began to change.

It all seemed to start when Brother got in trouble at school, but I’m certain it started far earlier, somewhere I couldn’t see. He was prone to the occasional fit of violence, and this time he had punched another kid in the face. Without bothering to ask for an explanation, his teacher swung by my class, grabbed me, and marched both of us into the principal’s office. Turning on her heel, she exited and left us to the principal. Our principal picked up her wall mounted phone and called our home. Mother picked up on the third ring.
“Hello?” came her muffled voice.
“Ah yes, this is the school office. I need you to come in right away, we have something urgent to discuss,” the principal elaborated.
“I’ll be in as soon as possible,” came the disembodied voice. We heard a soft click as she hung up from her end.

Half an hour later, our mother rushed into the office.
“I’m here,” she breathed, “What did we need to speak about?”
“Yes, yes, sit down please,” the principal asked, completely ignoring her question.
Mother sat down in the chair to my right obediently and without complaint, crossing her long legs as soon as she was fully seated.
“I need to talk to you about your son. He punched someone today. And we all know this is not the first time he has behaved like this.”
My brother pulled his hat lower over his eyes as Mother looked over at him. I adjusted my skirt, not wanting to look up. I was uncomfortable being the barrier between them.
“He is too much of a danger to the other students. I’m sorry, but you need to take your children somewhere else,” she finished.
My mother looked as if she had been slapped. Then she flushed a vivid crimson and grabbed our hands. She dragged us along as she strutted out of the office. We all piled into the family car and sped away from the school for the last time. Mother said nothing, and Brother and I sat in the back keeping a compliant silence.

When we got home, she ordered Brother to go to his room and reflect on his actions. He obeyed without a word of protest. Then she whisked me into the kitchen and started the preparations for baking cookies. That meant that she was really upset. She only baked when she was under extreme mental or emotional stress. The fact that she took me into the kitchen with her was evidence of our underlying problem. My mother liked me better than my brother. Maybe it was because he was troublesome, and only Father truly understood him. This created a rift between my mother and my brother, which was only deepened each time he acted up. It may have been his way of trying to get her attention, to get her to care, but it only just made her more angry.  She seemed to calm down as she was baking, getting caught up in the motions of making something beautiful. I helped her mix and I found the ingredients that she needed. When they were ready we popped the cookies into the oven and she began making lasagna for dinner.

When both the cookies and lasagna were ready, we set the table. Right as we called Brother down for dinner, Father walked through the front door.
“Daddy!” I said loudly as I rushed over to hug him.
“Hey kiddo,” he said breathlessly as I squeezed him.
“Honey, we just finished making dinner. Why don’t you come eat?” Mother interrupted.
I unfolded my arms from around him and bounced back to the table as he put his work stuff down. Brother had already slinked over to his spot at the table. He knew that Mother would break the news over dinner.  Dad greeted him by lifting his hat to ruffle his dark brown hair endearingly, and then he sat down in his chair.
“Looks good,” he said enthusiastically. Lasagna was his favorite.

To start off dinner we all said grace and started piling our plates. There was the usual small talk at first, but then Mother dove in for the kill.
“So our son got in trouble at school again,” she began, picking up and  turning over one of the cookies from their plate like she was examining it for flaws.
Brother wilted like a weed, slumping down as low as he could. Father paused in his chewing, contemplating what could have occurred.
“He punched someone again today. The principal expelled him. We have to find somewhere else where both of them can attend school,” she finished. She bit into the cookie sharply, and it crunched loudly.  
“Is that so…” Father trailed off distractedly.
Mom practically turned purple with rage and set the unfinished cookie back onto her plate. She sat and fumed for a few seconds and then exploded.
“Do you not care that he got expelled?! Now we need to find another school for both of them! That was the closest school to here, the next one is a town away. You need to discipline your son.”
“Children, go upstairs. Now. Your mother and I need to have a private talk,” he said with a straight face.
We left our dinner partially uneaten and rushed upstairs. I sat with Brother just above the top of the stairs. He was trembling slightly. I took his hand in mine and cuddled up next to him as we eavesdropped on our parents.

With Father keeping his tone subdued it was difficult to hear what was being said. But we overheard most of the argument. Mother berated Father endlessly until she finally let his biggest secret slip.
“Why should I deal with him?” she screamed hysterically. “He’s not even my son!”
Brother and I looked at each other, finally understanding the obvious differences in our appearance and Mother’s anger. He looked like he was about to cry, so I squeezed his hand tighter. We sat in silence and leaned forward to hear the rest of what was to come.
“Okay then. Have it your way. You won’t have to deal with him, or me anymore. We’re moving out,” my father declared icily.
We could hear Mother beginning to sob loudly. Despite her deep set hatred for Brother, she had always loved Father. We heard the sound of Father’s shoes on the stairs, so we both scurried quickly into Brother’s room. I held him close as he shook in the semi-darkness of the room. He had long outgrown his baby blanket, so I encircled him with my arms hoping to replicate the feeling of safety and love that it had brought him. We heard the sounds of drawers being opened and zippers being closed. Then Father burst into the room. He looked momentarily surprised to see me there. Recovering his composure, he gave Brother the command.
“Pack your things. We’re leaving for San Francisco tomorrow morning.”

The morning came and everyone was in their own melancholy mood. Mother’s eyes were red rimmed and puffy, and her golden blonde hair looked grungy. Father’s hair was fluffed up from sleeping on the couch and his expression was stone cold and impenetrable. Brother had his hat pulled as low over his eyes as it could go, obscuring any expression they may have been reflecting. Their bags were by the door, and there were a strange amount of empty boxes laying all around the house. No sound filled the room except for the sounds of us chewing our toast. Without breaking the oppressive silence we all left the table, and they grabbed their bags. We all squished into the car for the last time. Mother took the car out to the big highway that led to the next town with a train station.

We were almost to the next town when Mother suddenly skidded the car to a stop.
“Out,” she commanded, “both of you.”
Without protest they both stepped out and grabbed their bags from the trunk. They took little with them. Dad started to walk away, and Brother ran a bit to keep up with his long strides. Mother began to cry again. Neither of them looked back. Walking out of my life in such a way, they looked almost picturesque. Two figures walking down a seemingly deserted highway, with a sign advertising the train in the next town off to the side. We watched until they disappeared from view.The only thing kept me from feeling completely alone was Mother’s sobbing.
“Honey, we are moving away,” she managed to gasp through the constant stream of tears. “I got a job offer in New York, so we are leaving as well.”
Every now and then I remember my brother and father fondly. My brother’s dark brown hair and dusty tan cowboy hat, my father’s crisp black suit. I like to imagine that life has treated them well, and that my brother has grown into good man, as I have grown up and matured. As I watch the cars below speed past from the apartment window, I think about my brother seeing the same view from San Francisco, possibly dreaming about me too. I place my hand onto the window pane and clench my fingers, imagining another hand from a city across the country squeezing my hand back.

It took way longer than expected to finish this. I was supposed to finish it in class but I had to take it home over the weekend. Oh well. At least I finished it how I wanted. Thanks for reading!





Sunday, September 21, 2014

Shaving

Hello! I'm sorry that I have been absent for so long, life got busy. But hey, I'm back! My new lit teacher is really into quick writes and such, so a lot of those are going to be making their way up here. Updates will begin more regularly, so yay!

Okay back to the writing. We were given a picture of my lit teacher's children being "shaved" (with a comb) by their father. It was cute and heartwarming, and we had to do a quick write about it. She said any form of writing was okay, so I started to write a paper about how shaving is a symbol of growing up in our society. After not writing enough to hit the required word count, I decided to switch what I was writing about, and this is what resulted. I ended up not finishing in class but having to finish at home. Enjoy!

Shaving


One day my sons walked up to me and asked in unison,
“Daddy, can you teach us how to shave?”
I gave them a peculiar look. Why would boys so young want to shave? I wondered. My boys were twins, and they were both turning 11 the next month. There was not even a hint of peach fuzz on either of their rounded faces. Beyond that, the idea of taking a razor to my sons’ faces scared me. What if I accidentally cut them with the razor? I can’t do this to them, I thought to myself.
“What’s up? Why do you want to shave?” I asked.
“Well, all of the bigger boys said that they shave, and they teased us because we don’t. They called us children and teased us all week,” one of my sons replied. I thought about it, and decided there was a way I could do it without the risk of harming them. I would shave them without a real razor. I would use a comb.
“Well, let’s fix that! I’ll shave you both tomorrow morning,” I replied cheerily.

Sunlight streamed through my blinds and shot into my eyes. I squinted against the light. There was a big flomp as two extra bodies flew onto my bed. They jumped up and down, trying to get me to move.
“We’re shaving today, we’re shaving today!” They both shouted.
“Yes, yes boys, we are shaving today,”
“C’mon Dad, let’s go!” They practically dragged me out of the sheets and straight into my bathroom. I flipped on the light switch and blinked the blurriness out of my eyes. Opening the cabinet, I groped around for my stuff. They practically twitched with excitement as I readied all of the shaving supplies. I pulled out the shaving cream, my razor, and the comb I would be using for them. I lathered up our shaving cream in my bowl, then spread it onto my face first.
“Okay boys, I’m going to shave first to show you how it’s done. Then I will help you two shave. Sound good?” I asked.
“Yup!” They smiled and nodded enthusiastically.
I picked up my straight razor and began to skillfully pull it across my face, with the grain of the hairs. After creating a wake of smooth skin in the shaving cream, I dipped the razor into warm water to clean off the stubble filled cream. My sons looked amazed, as if I were some sort of magician. I continued to shave until I had cleared my entire face of the cream. Turning on the faucet, I washed off my face and gently patted it dry with a towel.
“And that’s how it’s done,” I finished. “It’s your turn now!”
I walked over to them and began to cover their chins in cream, just as I had done on myself. After I finished covering both of them, I walked one of them over to the mirror with me.
“Okay, I’m going to start. You ready?”
He nodded, trying to keep his smile from breaking across his face. I picked up the comb and turned his head gently so that I could get to the side of his face. Using the same motion that I had on myself, I cleared a strip of cream off of his face and then cleaned off the comb. I “shaved” him until I had completely cleared his face. I told him to wash his face off the same way that I had, and he did. He studied his reflection in the mirror, leaning in ever so slightly. He rubbed his cheeks and stepped back. I pulled my other son towards me and repeated the cycle. After washing and drying his face, he rubbed it as if he was checking its smoothness for a hint of missed stubble. He looked closer and nodded, showing his satisfaction.
“So, how was it? Did you enjoy shaving for the first time?” I asked. One of them frowned at his reflection in the mirror.
“It was different, but I don’t understand why the other boys bragged about it so much. It wasn’t that great,” he said.
“Yeah, I don’t see the big deal,” the other agreed.
“Well, now you’ve done it. Don’t let those boys tease you anymore, okay? If they tease you tell me right away,” I ordered.
“Okay, we will,” they chorused. “We’re gonna play outside today.”
“Be careful,” I said. As they ran out of my bathroom, I began to carefully put back the shaving supplies. Suddenly, I felt two sets of arms around my waist.

“Oh and Dad?” they said, “Thank you.” I smiled to myself as they sprinted out of the door once again. She would have loved to be here today. She would have been so proud, I thought to myself. I had been worrying about them since my wife had died, but at that moment I came to a realization. Even without her guiding grace, we could still be a family. Our family would turn out alright.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

"Foolology"

In Language Arts, we had to write essays based on the poem "Foolology" by Ishmael Reed. I had a lot of trouble writing this one (due to extreme procrastination) but I'm pretty proud of how it turned out.

Here's the original poem:

Foolology

Shaken by his bad press, the wolf
presses north, leaving caribou to 
the fox,

Raven, the snow player gets his
before buzzards with bright red 
collars move in to dine near the 
bottom of a long scavenger line

This poem is about a skunk, no
rather about a man, who though
not of the skunk family uses
his round-eye the way skunks do 

After he eats, his friends eat
He is a fool and his friends are
fools but sometimes it's hard to 
tell who is the biggest fool this
fool or his fool friends

By the time they catch us
we're not there
We crows
Nobody's ever seen a dead crow
on the highway

First moral: Don't do business 
with people for whom April first
is an important date
they will use your bank balance to 
buy eight thousand pies, tunics,
ballet slippers with bells and 
a mail order lake in the middle of
a desert for splash parties

Second moral: Before you can spot the 
fools in others you must rid yourself
of the fool in you
You can tell a fool by his big mouth


Wow.  The section of Inquiry by Design we are working on as a class is supposed to be hard, but sheesh, I had trouble wading through this one. Even after breaking it into pieces (snow player= drug dealer?) I had no idea what to make of the poem. We worked in groups to decode the difficulty, and ended our discussions with a class Socratic Seminar. I finally came up with a thesis that I liked, and I had to write about the message that Reed was trying to send. All in all, I was proud what I came up with in the end.

My paper:
“Foolology”
“Next time you point a finger, I’ll point you to the mirror.” One of the key lines in the song “Playing God” by Paramore, its message is similar to that stated in the poem “Foolology” by Ishmael Reed. The message in the poem is that personal faults must be acknowledged before looking for faults in others, even if it is difficult. The entire poem demonstrates this theme from the “morals” that it gives, to the perspective of the author.

The poem includes what the author calls “morals” at the end, little lessons to be taken away from the poem. The second moral states, “Before you can spot the/ fools in others you must rid yourself/ of the fool in you” (30-33). To be able to accurately judge someone, the person judging must know that they themselves are imperfect. His second moral also means that only people who have no faults can judge others, when in reality, nobody is perfect. By this logic, there should be no judging within a group or society, because only people who are faultless should be able to judge others.

The perspective that the author chooses to take also furthers this theme. The final message stated in the poem, “You can tell a fool by his big mouth” (34), combined with the previous part of the moral make the author seem as though he is a fool. This is because describes ways that other people can be fools, therefore he thinks he has ridden himself of the fool within him. The tone in which he writes the poem makes it sound as if he separates himself from the fools, or that he is greater than them. He takes on a gloating tone, and by doing that, he makes himself a fool as well, because of his bragging or “big mouth.”

Reed spends the entire poem describing fools and the ways not to be a fool. He gives morals to help, and also demonstrates how he himself is still a fool. This proves the idea that it is hard to stop being a fool, because it becomes a habit. This message can be related to life too. People have the capability to be better, and not be fools, by being humble without bragging and not judging others when they are not perfect either. It may be hard to change, as Reed shows, but making the small changes will better society as a whole.


Monday, March 10, 2014

Set Pieces

This blog is called A Set Piece a Day for a good reason. I love the idea of set pieces. Little snippets of writing that tell simple stories without having to be too straight forward, or overly explained. Like little gems, set pieces glitter, and they enthralled me when I first heard about them in Language Arts. We got to try our hand at them, and I fell in love with the first one that I wrote:

It was cold. Strange for such a sunny city, but it was. I swam out far into the bay, the waves urging me on like playful nymphs, tugging me further out. I looked over, to assure myself that I was not alone. She was there, swimming by my side. We cut through the small swells, as smooth as the breeze. We began laughing with the joy of it all, effortlessly paddling out, further and further. We mused about going clear to the other side. Laughing some more, we began to swim back, as to not frighten our parents. The water was cold, but we didn't care. We were happy.

Now for the explanation. I spent the last week of summer in San Diego with my Dad's girlfriend and her daughter Kim (She is now my stepmother, and Kim is my stepsister). We were swimming in the bay by our hotel, and it was the first time that I truly connected with her. I had so much fun in San Diego. I decided to write about the one moment where we truly connected, and this was it.